Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
