Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
