Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
