Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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