I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
