i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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