They should really pass out barf bags in church
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
