My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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