Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
