It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
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Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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