So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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