Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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