i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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