Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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