I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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