walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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