And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
