At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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