when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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