Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
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When did angry sex become our thing?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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