I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
