I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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