Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
