looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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