I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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