apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
