the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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