He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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