The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
either way he was missing a nipple.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
