Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Randomize
