I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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