I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I am one with the molecules
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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