Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
