when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
