I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
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It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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