Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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