I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
