try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize