when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My hand turned me down
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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