so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
