Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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