i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I think my moral compass just broke
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize