Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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