and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
