Can i not drive my cunt home
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
