you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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