Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
