So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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