I don't think brook has ever known best
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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