Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
