never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There r osticjed everywhere
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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