too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize