It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
she pinky promised me she was 18
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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