I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
