yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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