I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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