John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
