just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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