Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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